Post by fugees-online on Feb 15, 2006 9:51:46 GMT 1
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Okay, people have been asking about these, if I had them saved and what not, and at least four people have contacted me asking whether or not I still had them. I guess they must have made something of an impression...Meh.
Disclaimer: Philo's Phone Conversations are jokes. These are not real encounters/conversations/interviews with Lauryn, Ms. Hill, Ms. Boogie, L Boogie, Lauryn Hill, Lauryn N. Hill, Lauryn Noel Hill, or CRAZY BLOOD CLOT, or any of the names she has been none by. These are exaggerations, extreme exaggerations tempered with humor designed to
1. Exaggerate humorously the many eccentricacies of Lauryn Hill.
2. Poke fun at her fans who are sometimse obsessive, fickle, or downright rude.
by PhilosopherSelah (from Runboard)
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"Sometimes, we get back together, just to close the book on some things, to finish some things off"- Lauryn Hill
"She always sounds cryptic about everything"- Orange Shoe
LAURYN AND COOKING DINNER
Lauryn: Sometimes I cook dinner for my children, just to close the book on some things. To finish the chapters. When things aren't necessarily done tright the first time, you wind up having to come full circle, and ...close the book on some things. I asked the kids if they wanted anything for dinner tonight. They said turkey. I wanted ham. And would it not be freedom and honesty of me to cook what I wanted since I'll be doing the cooking. You know. I baptize my lips every time I take a sip. I'mma get the mozzarella like a rocafella still be in the church of lalibella singing hyms accapella, whether posed in Maribela in couture or, collecting residuals from of the score. I'm dope like that
Selah: Oh Sh*t. BING!!!
Zion: Mommy got skills, BLOOT CLOT!!!!
(We later interviewed Zion, and Joshua)
Joshua: I am resentful of Zion and Selah. Mommy says I must be very honest. She released a song in 1998 about Zion. An entire grammy award winning song. She got Carlos Santana to play...listen (Joshua puts down sucker and turns down the Nickelodeon) CARLOS SANTANA. And a whole band and everything. Like he's something special. Then she comes back around and writes a song about Selah. Its the first time she used beautiful chords. Her first recording since Unplugged. I must be very honest, I have to take some of the blame for her performance on Unplugged. During that time I was kicking her in the liver and the stomach, because I was hungry, and she wound up crying during Unplugged performance. But anyway, she goes back and records Selah a song while she deep in her catharsis. BUT WHERE'S MY SONG. I mean darn, she can at least give me a song called the Joshua Tree anything. And there are countless songs she can right about John. Where's our song. I must admit, for a very long time I was very resentful of Zion and Selah. And it cost me my freedom. BUT WHERE'S MY SONG. Homegirl can still sing. I hear her.
(Lauryn walks in)
Lauryn: There's a process, a hierarchy, you have to be doing certain things to get a song from me.
Zion: What is a song but the expression of the inward emotion of man. What is man but a carnal expression of the world place. We have denied ourselves existence, so strangled by social drugs, that we do not realize out own indifference to God, and to the wiles of the Enemy
Selah: Bing
(Lauryn walks into kitchen to continue cooking)
Zion: What is truth, but the respelendent lack and the silence of falsehood- Yogi Pranayama
Lauryn, from the kitchen: Selah, give him a bing
Selah: BING!!
Joshua: Where's our song at.
Lauryn, walks in waving a spatula: You'll get a song when I see you contemplating the inevitable manifestation of righteousness in the transistastis of the world place, like your brother and sister.
(Joshua storms out of the room)
-Terrence
Okay, people have been asking about these, if I had them saved and what not, and at least four people have contacted me asking whether or not I still had them. I guess they must have made something of an impression...Meh.
Disclaimer: Philo's Phone Conversations are jokes. These are not real encounters/conversations/interviews with Lauryn, Ms. Hill, Ms. Boogie, L Boogie, Lauryn Hill, Lauryn N. Hill, Lauryn Noel Hill, or CRAZY BLOOD CLOT, or any of the names she has been none by. These are exaggerations, extreme exaggerations tempered with humor designed to
1. Exaggerate humorously the many eccentricacies of Lauryn Hill.
2. Poke fun at her fans who are sometimse obsessive, fickle, or downright rude.
by PhilosopherSelah (from Runboard)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Sometimes, we get back together, just to close the book on some things, to finish some things off"- Lauryn Hill
"She always sounds cryptic about everything"- Orange Shoe
LAURYN AND COOKING DINNER
Lauryn: Sometimes I cook dinner for my children, just to close the book on some things. To finish the chapters. When things aren't necessarily done tright the first time, you wind up having to come full circle, and ...close the book on some things. I asked the kids if they wanted anything for dinner tonight. They said turkey. I wanted ham. And would it not be freedom and honesty of me to cook what I wanted since I'll be doing the cooking. You know. I baptize my lips every time I take a sip. I'mma get the mozzarella like a rocafella still be in the church of lalibella singing hyms accapella, whether posed in Maribela in couture or, collecting residuals from of the score. I'm dope like that
Selah: Oh Sh*t. BING!!!
Zion: Mommy got skills, BLOOT CLOT!!!!
(We later interviewed Zion, and Joshua)
Joshua: I am resentful of Zion and Selah. Mommy says I must be very honest. She released a song in 1998 about Zion. An entire grammy award winning song. She got Carlos Santana to play...listen (Joshua puts down sucker and turns down the Nickelodeon) CARLOS SANTANA. And a whole band and everything. Like he's something special. Then she comes back around and writes a song about Selah. Its the first time she used beautiful chords. Her first recording since Unplugged. I must be very honest, I have to take some of the blame for her performance on Unplugged. During that time I was kicking her in the liver and the stomach, because I was hungry, and she wound up crying during Unplugged performance. But anyway, she goes back and records Selah a song while she deep in her catharsis. BUT WHERE'S MY SONG. I mean darn, she can at least give me a song called the Joshua Tree anything. And there are countless songs she can right about John. Where's our song. I must admit, for a very long time I was very resentful of Zion and Selah. And it cost me my freedom. BUT WHERE'S MY SONG. Homegirl can still sing. I hear her.
(Lauryn walks in)
Lauryn: There's a process, a hierarchy, you have to be doing certain things to get a song from me.
Zion: What is a song but the expression of the inward emotion of man. What is man but a carnal expression of the world place. We have denied ourselves existence, so strangled by social drugs, that we do not realize out own indifference to God, and to the wiles of the Enemy
Selah: Bing
(Lauryn walks into kitchen to continue cooking)
Zion: What is truth, but the respelendent lack and the silence of falsehood- Yogi Pranayama
Lauryn, from the kitchen: Selah, give him a bing
Selah: BING!!
Joshua: Where's our song at.
Lauryn, walks in waving a spatula: You'll get a song when I see you contemplating the inevitable manifestation of righteousness in the transistastis of the world place, like your brother and sister.
(Joshua storms out of the room)
-Terrence
stupid talk