Post by fugees-online on Jun 28, 2005 20:56:59 GMT 1
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WARNING: this is phone conversation is made-up! IT'S ALL FAKE... but FUNNY!
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*Calls Lauryn
Terrence: This ItIsSealed woman is really losing it. She threatened to put me in time out, because I'm trying to get them to see that that really is your hair. They think it's a wig
Lauryn, sipping coffee and strumming chords: When did I ever say it was a wig. Can they quote me. Is this something I've said. Because that's a lie. Could it be that they have me as a idol, with a wig above measure. Could it be that this is a perm. How suprising they won't me my freedom. You know this lack of equilibrium is exactly the non-progressive inertia that continuously puts a ponderous malnourishment in the beautification of my most revolutionary and enchating message.
(Terrence pics up dictionary)
I don't understand this. Is this the harbinger of the treachorous disbelief that can be accountably expected in the quantum reality that is the future.
Terrence: Homegirl gotta stop using big words.
Lauryn, sips coffee: I see. They don't believe. They must believe. Make them believe.
Terrence: Homegirl gotta stop using big words.
Lauryn: What big word.
Terrence: Believe. I don't use that. I just say, "make them dig it". Ya dig?
Lauryn: I dig. Find a way to get them to believe it's not a wig.
Terrence: Maybe on your next picture you should run your hand through it.
Lauryn, talking to band mates: Stop, star over, and find the right key damn it, or we gon box. You don't want it with L-Boogie.
Backup singers: Mahogony, mahogony, oh mahogony L
Lauryn: That's a good idea. I'll take it to memory. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm still working with my band. The atlanta performance was...
Terrence: A dreadful mess
Lauryn, defensive: Who said it was a dreadful mess. I'm entitiled to my own belief. Don't put me in a box. I don't have to fit into your expectations. Expectation is the mother of dissapointment. They're sound system stuck anyway. I want to do a song for you. It's about the sound system at Vibefest.
*Terrence gets some tea and crackers while Lauryn sings.
Terrence: Before you sing the song what did you think about the sound system at Vibefest.
Lauryn: Better speaker....better speaker....better speaker...desperately...desperately...desperately...I can't say it enough...desperately...I can't say it enough
Terrence: Are you okay
Lauryn: Real speaks...new speakers....panasonic...sony...bose...sears....Best Buy...New Speakers...Vibefest...Desperately. They need a real sound system. Not a form of soundsystem. I'm diong my powerful poetic eyes now
*Terrence imagine Lauryn's poetic eyes
Lauryn, with poetic eyes: Desperately
Terrence: I see. And what about that guy who said you were snorting with a ten dollar bill.
Lauryn: I made 40 million dollars from the Miseducation and all my clothes are homemade. I have millions upon millions left over. So why would I sniff anything with a ten dollar bill. I'd at least use a 50,000 bill.
Terrence: There's a $50,000 bill
Lauryn: It's only for rich people, but I fear I've said to much, I'll hypnotize you with my flawless voice and you'll forget about it
*Lauryn, pick up guitar:
There's no 50,000 bill
no 50,000 bill
no $50,000 bill
You've forgotten already, because you're hypnotized by my beautiful voice and this fantastic run
*Lauryn does a vocal run
Terrence: What were we talking about
Lauryn: Nothing at all. Certainly not a $50,000 bill
Terrence: Tere's a $50,000 bill
Lauryn: Oh God.
*Lauryn begins singing again
Lauryn:
There's no $50,000 bill
There's no $50,000 bill
Oh, and by the way, by the way by the way
(back up singer: by the way, by the wayyy)
I'm not wearing a wig
This is my real hair
My real hairrrrrrrrrr
oh, oh oh, oh, my real hair
Terrence: So what were we talking about
Lauryn: My hair
Terrence: Yes they still think it's a wig. I will go and tell them immediately.
(click)
Lauryn, evil laugh: Yes, now they will never know whether or not it is a wig.
Rohan: I bought you a new wig, mon
Lauryn: Damn it!!
(Click)
copyright: PhilosopherSelah
